Tears

I'm very emotional today, probably because the 8th is getting so close.  I've been thinking about after surgery alot more and am I prepared enough?  I went and visited my courageous SIL yesterday and she showed me her wounds.  Not as bad as I thought but still it's quite alot to get my head around.   My BIL made up a chicken broth for her, so I plan on doing that, just so I'm not drinking sustagen all the time.  DH and I are having a cooking day on Friday so I've got 'food' in the freezer I can eat.  I know what I'm about to do may seen drastic for some, but for me and my family it's what I have to do.  Not only is it going to improve my health 10 fold, my children will have a Mother for many more years.  I look at them today and my heart breaks.  I couldn't imagine leaving them and not thru my own stupidity of over eating.

I've done all the research, joined the forums, completed the tests and the pre-op diet and so I feel like I'm prepared, then why am I so fucking scared???