It's all a bit much

So this time last week I was not in a happy place.  Today I'm in a much better place, but it's been tough.  I've had many food envy occasions.   Many times, I've just wanted a bite of that ham sandwich, or that chicken pasta, or that homemade hamburger but I can't, literally.  I'd vomit.  I'm on a liquid diet for the first 2 weeks and then a baby food consistency based regime for about the next 3 after that.  I'm told I need to SIP between 80-150ml of 'nutritional fluids, every hour.  Up & Go's, V8 juice, Sustagen, watered down yoghurt, tea, coffee, hot chocolate, homemade chicken broth, fruit yoghurt smoothies and I'll tell you it's fucking hard.  You get so full after just a few mouthfuls.  The idea is not to get dehydrated, so I have to try and have water in between!!  If I'm going to be totally honest with you, I'm struggling a bit.  I miss food, I miss the action of chewing, I miss the taste of a piece of avocado on toast.  I'll tell you something for free, I can't wait for some baked beans next week!  There's even been a couple of times this week where I've just wanted to go back to my old youthful ways and ...

Get ready to go out by having a couple of vodka cruisers, apply way to much eye makeup and have to remember during the night I actually have makeup on, drink way to many Sav Blancs, bourbons, and then whatever nasty shot that's going round at the end of the night.  Next of course, I queue up at the chippie for a chicken souvalaki, with extra yoghurt garlic sauce, before piling in a taxi with half of it slopped down my front.  Attractive.  Roll in the front door, trying to be stealth quiet but of course making enough noise to wake the entire state of Victoria.  Stand swaying with the fridge door open and finally deciding on a massive swig straight from the milk carton.  By-pass the bathroom, no wait, one last wee while I strip, totally forget to take the make-up off, or what's left of it and fall into bed.  Nude, cause that's how I roll.  DH is already snoring and I join him in approximately 14 seconds.  I wake up to my head feeling like it's caved in and a camel's shat in my mouth.  I dress in whatever clothes are lying on the floor by my bed and crawl out to the couch.  I lay there slowly dying, flicking thru shit on tv but then think, Hmmm, Big Mac or Zinger burger ......

Man oh man how my life has changed.  Seriously tho, I have thought I've wanted to do that at least once this week, but when I do what I did this morning, I think hell NO!!

I was up with the family at 6.45am, a sleep in mind you, and we were bottled, dressed, coffeed and down the beach.  The sky was blue, the sand was cold beneath my toes and I actually wanted to be there.  I didn't puff, grumble, want to turn around, NOTHING.  It made me emotional that this is what I had been missing.  Normally DH would let me sleep in and he would take the kidlets himself, but not anymore.  I loved every minute of it.

I've now lost 14.7kgs (32llbs) in 5 weeks, including the pre-op diet.  I'm so very proud of myself and now realise that the old Anna would've had both the Big Mac AND the Zinger, and then probably had pizza delivered for tea.  The new Anna prefers to walk on the beach with her precious family

Squeezes MrsK
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