I'm baaaaaaack!

Man what a ride.  Can't say I've enjoyed it so far, in fact it's been bloody yuk.  I have discovered tho that I hate morphine and won't ever have another ml of that vile stuff again.

So DH and I said see ya to the kids early Tuesday morning and headed up to the Epworth.  We had to be there by 10, don't ask me why, considering surgeries didn't start till 1.30?  So we did the normal hang around thing and was finally sent to my room at 12.  Farted around some more and was told I was second on the list, so wasn't going downstairs till about 3.  By 2.30 I had had no nerves.  No butterflies, nothing I was so surprised.  But when I was told to get into my gown, open at the back, BANG my heart started and didn't stop.  I didn't cry which was so not like me, just really jittery.  I was on my way by 3, kissing DH, I think he had a tear in his eye.

I spent the next hr! downstairs under a blanket that pumped hot air thru it.  I actually had a sleep.  Met my anesthetist at 4.15 and in I went.  Still nervous, still doing some heavy breathing.  I remember moving from my bed to the op table.  It was hard, flat and the room was cold.  There were little green nurses running around with masks getting things ready, big lights and music, like classical music.  I had a port put into the crease of the left arm and was given an oxygen mask to take some deep breaths from.  'Just a couple more, that's great Anna, you'll be having a nice long sleep in ......'

I woke up in horrendous pain.  Fuck me, horrendous.  I remember crying, moaning, pulling my knees up, I vomited spit, had a massive headache and my tummy woah fuck, sore, sore, sore.  All I kept hearing the Recovery nurse say was 'Anna, there's no need to cry, come on now, you're ok'.  Um no, I wasn't ok you bitch I'm in PAIN!!!  She finally gave me my morphine button and I pushed it and pushed it.  Had to wait for it to kick in, but jesus until it did, not cool.  I was in recovery for almost 3 hrs because of the reaction I'd had to the anesthetic.  I dry vomited several times and felt like the world was on spin dry.  I slept on and off but generally wasn't too good.  By the time I got back up to my room it was 8.30!  Poor DH was so worried about me, but I'm telling you I've never been so happy to see his face.  EVER! I was in and out of sleep and so he left at 9pm.  I didn't want him to go, but the hospital was kicking him out, he was already an hr over visiting time.  He'd told them he wasn't leaving until he had seen me and fair enough to!

My night was shithouse.  I had blow up pressure socks on that pumped full of air every few minutes, right up to my thighs, a drip with saline, a blood pressure cuff on which went off every 45 mins and an oxygen prong up my nose.  I would push my morphine button and then 10 mins later have to have nausea meds in my drip because it just made me feel vile.  I slept on and off, mostly off.  I kept thinking I  could hear the kids and so was about to get up to them, I'd open my eyes and realise, nup I was just wasted.

It's a bad photo, but under the circumstances I didn't really think I was going to look like Miranda Kerr. It took till 3pm the next day for me to finally say, you know what get rid of the fucking morphine, it's making things worse.  So I was happily swapped to Panadol Osteo and Endone.  Well hello, my friends, come to Mumma :):) My pain pretty much went, and I was then just feeling discomfort, which I do still today.  I saw my surgeon and he said everything went great.  My liver was nice and small, um yeah cause I've hardly eaten anything in a month!! and he said to take things extremely easy and keep up with the pain relief.  Eye eye Captain :-)  I have 5 small keyhole cuts that will heal up no worries.  My 2 c/s scars are way bigger

So Wednesday came and went, I was supposed to be discharged on Thursday but I decided to stay another day just to get my head around the new drugs.  Lucky cause I actually didn't see my surgeon again.  By Friday I was ready to come home.  I missed my babies terribly and just wanted to see them.  I was handling the pain meds and had gone from clear fluids like broth, lime jelly and apple juice to vanilla sustagen and orange juice.  Hell I was moving on up real quick!!  I had actually slept ok on the Thursday nite, I was only woken up by my room mate.  Beautiful old June who wasn't doing very well after her stomach aneurysm operation.  Man was she ill.  I hope she is getting better, its her birthday on Monday.  I think I'm going to call her to see how she is.

I was up, showered, dressed, had dressings changed, paperwork signed and out the door by 9.45am.  Aahhhhhhhhhhh sunshine and fresh air.  I stood at the door to the hospital and looked up to the beautiful blue Melbourne sky, took a deep breath, closed my eyes and cried.  I cried because I was going home to see my babies and also that I had finally done it.  I was saying good bye to the old Anna and I that I was fucking scared to meet the new one.  I slept most of the way home and when we pulled into the driveway the radio stopped for a minutes silence.  No, not for me, it was 11am on the 11/11/11.  Truly a moment in time, I will never forget.

I arrived to OK being in bed and MP was at the park with Grandma so I just sat on the couch and waited.  When MP finally came in the sliding door, the look on her face was like, 'there's Mummy, Mummies home', she just stared at me, then gave me a huge smile, said 'Mummy' and then went to DH.  Yup, she ran to Daddy.  I had to wait 5 minutes for a cuddle!  And it was the best cuddle EVER!!  OK then woke up and he just went nuts.  Laughing, giggling, clapping, rubbing his head on my leg, cuddles, biting my nose, I do believe he was very happy to see Mummy :-)

So here I am, 4 days post op.  I'm still on pain meds, but not as frequent.  I'm having broth, V8 juice, Up & Go's, tea, coffee and of course water.  I woke up a little hungry this morning, first time since the afternoon of surgery!  I had an inch of coffee and that was it, I was full.  I've decided to only get on the scales weekly, so you'll just have to wait, like I am to see what the numbers are.  I did however loose 500grams in hospital :)

I must make special mention to my in-laws who looked after the kidlets for us, we wouldn't have been able to do without them.  And also to my special Husband.  He has supported me, wiped away my tears and held my hand thru it all.  He has kept me company, rubbed my back and beaten me in the Herald Sun Trivia.  He is my everything and I love him.  Heaps.

I made it kids.  Onwards and 'offwards' from now on eh?

Squeezes, oohhh gently, MrsK x