30.2

I did this yesterday, it was wonderful.  I had 6 hrs to myself, kid free and so I decided to take 20 mins out of my down pat schedule and just stop.  As I stood with my feet in Port Phillip Bay, I cried and cried, buckets!  I'd just spent 4 hrs clothes shopping and it's safe to say I am now a size 20, up until surgery I was a 26 *shame*.  I've recently been asked if having surgery was the right decision for me and until yesterday I knew it was but I didn't know how much.  To not have to go to the back of the rack in the 'fat chick' section was very emotional.  Ok, I was still in the fat chick section but I didn't have to hide the hanger with the pink neon flashing number 26 on it!  I happily flung the green 20 around like I was Elle McPherson.  So 'yes' having gastric sleeve surgery WAS the best decision I've ever made.  Oh that and marrying DH and having the kidlets :)

I've often wondered if different genres do what I do?  As the fat chick, I always scanned where I was for other fat people.  On a bus, at the beach, about to board a plane, I'm always wondering if I'm the fattest person in the room?  Do blondes do the same?  People who have acne, wear glasses or is it just me?  The plane thing I do every time.  I do a quick body take and see if anyone else is going to be as uncomfortable as me.  I would always whisper to the air steward as I boarded 'I'll need an extension seatbelt please'.  As shameful as that was, I'd rather get in first than have him/her do it to me in front of everyone seated around me.  I must admit, flying with DD was a saviour.  I had to have one for her so I'd get away with asking for one.  As I walk about town now I still do the body scan only now I think 'I'm so glad I'm not as big as that anymore', and then I feel sadness for the person I'm looking at.  I just want to whisper 'gastric sleeve surgery, look it up' Of course I never do, I'd probably get thumped.

I've been getting a couple of emails from friends who have family members wanting or needing surgery. I really hope that I can help them understand that what I've done has changed my life forever and not only mine, but my husbands, my children and everyone around me.   I have so much more energy and half the time I don't even know what I'm doing, it's DH who points it out.  I run around with the kidlets more, I hang the washing on the line instead of using the dryer, I actually want to go out with the family instead of making some lame excuse to stay home, like I'M TIRED!  I like eating salad, fish, oats, berries and veges because I know I've only got such a limited amount of space, why would I fill it up with crap?  I'm not saying I've never eaten anything bad since having surgery, like a magnum!!! but I can have a mini one and I have one once a week instead of a big one EVERY NIGHT!!  A girl's still got to have some pleasures in life, I'll just take mine in mini form please :)

I will never order a 'large/x-large' again.  I struggle to drink a standard coffee these days and I'll never be able to eat anymore than an entree sized meal again.  In the beginning that scared the shit out of me, cause I was a woman who loved her food.  The more pasta in the bowl the better, now?  I can't even eat pasta!!  Well not yet, it gets stuck dam it, so I just avoid it.  My typical food day goes something like this -

Breakfast

Coffee

1 x weetbix, milk (usually leave a spoonful) or

Piece of toast with butter and tomato

Lunch

Cruskit with brie, or salami or hommus and tomato (I love tomatoes)

I usually get a bit peckish around 4 so I'll have a couple of spoonfuls of yoghurt or a couple of crackers with cheese

Dinner

Salad (half a tomato!, 2 slices of cucumber and some feta) and french dressing hmmmmmm) with ham or a piece of fish, or a boiled potato with a dollop of sour cream

Dessert (and not every night)

Mixed berries and custard

It's not very exciting but it's yummy and I'm satisfied with what I've eaten.  I have had to modify things like I was egg and bread crumbing my fish but found it would just get stuck, so now I just lightly pan fry it with lemon juice.  I haven't been out to a restaurant yet, but I will.  God knows what I would order.  Times have changed since I would scan the dessert menu first to see if I would have a main with an entree or a dessert.

Lots of things have changed really.  I'm going to need to get my engagement and wedding rings re-sized, in fact I'm going to have to take them off soon, they're so loose.  My hair is coming out in really gross unhealthy handfuls, only when I wash it tho.  And yes I'm taking my vitamins.  DH and I were lying in bed one morning and he leaned over me to get something off the bedside table,  'Ow, ow ow' I said, 'What's that big lump?' as I poked at my side.  'Darling that's your ribs'  and he won't like me saying this either but our sex life has gone from woah! to OHMYFUCKINGGODFATHERS!!  Who knew you could do that at 30kgs lighter!

I've now lost 30.2kgs in 3 and a half months.  I'm under 120kgs and looking forward to loosing another 30.  Next goal is to crack the hundy.

There is really only one thing that I still can't quite get my head around.  It makes me teary every time I talk about it.  The fact that I am never going to put all of this weight back on, spins me out.  I'm not just on a diet and doing really well, it's NEVER going back on again.  I will never be 148.6kgs again.  It's freaky, it's exciting and it makes days like yesterday seem even nicer.

Squeezes
MrsK xxx

Greetings 2012

It feels like it's been ages and well yes it has, sorry.

Truth be told, since I was here last, I haven't really had any shit moments which has been good for my heart and my soul.  Mum and Dad were here for Christmas which was beyond awesome and when I dropped them off at the airport I did cry, but that's normal.  Apart from those tears, life in the NY is going pretty good.  I have sat back a couple of times and wondered where 2011 went, because I did sooo much in those 12 short months, it makes my mind boggle as to what is in stall for 2012.  I'm ready tho and prepared which is another tick in the box.

My Christmas was great, I even ate Christmas lunch!  Wanna see?

I ate most of this and was as stuffed as the turkey was!  I even had a meringue with cream and strawberries afterwards.  Much, much, afterwards mind.  We opened presents, played outside with the kids, ate, listened to Christmas carols and generally had the family Christmas we wanted.  I felt really happy with being able to eat something and was stoked I wasn't still back in the liquid faze.  Those poor people out there who had their surgery so close to the event of Christmas lunch.  Can't say a liquid turkey dinner would've been very appetising  :(  Could you even zap a meringue so you could drink it?  *GAG*

My food intake is almost back to normal but of course the amount is still Ashley Olsen sized.  I haven't been game to try steak yet, I was told red meat was pretty much off the menu for the 1st 6 months anyway.  I had a couple of bites of my lasagna and quickly realised that mince is on the 'not yet list' as well.  So I'm eating lots of fish and some chicken, as long as it has lube so it doesn't get stuck in the gizzard.  Bread/toast with the crusts cut off, cruskits with everything and thank god I still like yoghurt!  I have had 2 spew moments tho, so def on the 'never going there again' list are pavalova and fish from the chip shop!  I only had a couple of bites of each, and on different days, but it all came back up.  Should've seen it coming tho, I haven't eaten 'shit' food in so long, it obviously did not agree with me.  That'll learn me and it has.

My weight loss has been steady, I'm now down a total of 26.6kgs and couldn't be more stoked.  My lowest weekly loss has been 700 grams, which I'm still happy with but then the following week I'll have a 1.8-2.2kgs loss.  I have no idea why the difference is so big from week to week but fuck I'm taking it!  I will have to address my clothing situation and very soon.  I'm still wearing all my old clothes and some stuff is just getting beyond ridiculous.  My size 26 linen pants, thankfully with a drawstring waist, are only just hanging in there.  I can't really pull them any tighter around my middle, or I'll detach my top half from my bottom.   One totally wicked bonus is that I have had a wardrobe of funky going out clothing just hanging there.  Enter, 'Plus size buy, swap and sell clothing group' on fb and BAM!!  I've sold half of it and made $250!!  I should be putting that money aside to spend on myself but no I had to go and buy more Oobi!!  Don't ask, it's a long story.  A whole other blog.

I'm learning to 'like' my new body.  I'm starting to get the droop on already, like the bingo wings are here.  Great Scott!!  YUK!!  Can't say I like them tho.  I like the fact, the other day I was told I look 26 hahaha!!  You should've seen the woman's face when I told her I was 37!  I have shoulder blades peeking thru which I actually saw in the car window yesterday.  I looked left and then right, yup there they were.  Lucky no one busted me checking myself out in the car window!  Dh even commented the other morning that I had a huge 'hole' from my hip inwards, especially when I was lying down and on my side.  Um Honey, that's because my stomach used to be there ....

We went out on Tuesday and visited some very dear friends of ours.  It was so fantastic to be with my girls and I loved how everyone was so interested in what I was going thru.  It was my first outing since surgery that included eating and I loved every minute of it.  There was a mean as kiwi BBQ on for good and old and I had my piece of fish a piece of garlic bread and some 'Masterchef Shaun Chick Pea Salad'.  It was healthy, filling and made with love.  I even tried my first Sav Blanc in almost 3 months and well lets just say that that is on the 'not yet' list as well.  Gutted.  I could only manage one sip because it burnt like fuck, weird??  There was this mega hot feeling in my gut and it was not cool.  So I gave the rest of my inch sized glass to my GF and I watched with envy as she swigged away.  I hope eventually I'll be able to enjoy a glass of the fine white nectar cause I do like a drop.  Or 10 back in the day ...

Squeezes
MrsK x