Some time last year, around August 2010, my beautiful SIL casually mentioned she had been to a seminar about Weight Loss Surgery. Lap band, Gastric Sleeve and Bi-pass surgery. My god woah I've always wanted my stomach stapled and for years I said if I won the lotto, I'm having it done. My wonderful DH chimed in with the statement of the century 'why don't you, if it's what you really want?' As I picked myself up off the floor and shut my mouth, I put my research hat on and hit the net. I read and read and read and was constantly amazed at people's transformations. I got excited each time I came across another success story, because I kept thinking, 'shit that could be me!'.
Well nothing was going to happen straight away, I was pregnant with DS2 at the time and after a phone call to our Health Insurance we were told we needed to up our cover and then there had to be a 12 month waiting period. Sooo on Nov 1st 2010, we paid our first top cover health insurance payment and we were off!!!
DS was born Jan 23rd 2011, 3 weeks early, god love him. Everything went great, an elective c/section and soon after I started to have thoughts of loosing weight. DH and I had decided that we were done having kids, that the 'baby factory was CLOSED' so it really was 'time for me'.
It took till July 6th 2011 before I attended my own WLS seminar with the highly skilled, highly adorable, highly well paid Mr Geoffrey Draper. I sat in the back row stunned at the information I was hearing, I was shocked at the 'live video' of Gastric Sleeve surgery and I cried because I couldn't believe I was where I was. I couldn't believe I was considering such an evasive procedure to finally cure me of my fat. Man did I cry. I crawled into bed that night next to DH and cried some more. This was going to be a very difficult decision.
The the next few days I cried so much I lost 2kgs, no just kidding, but it felt like it. I had no idea that the decision I was going to make, was going to take such an emotional toll on me. 2 days after the seminar, I had a phone call from Mr Draper's office asking if I was interested in having a one on one with him and further discussing the possibility of surgery. 'Yes' I thought, and 'Yes' I said. I was booked in, Wed the 20th of July at 2pm. Holy fuck, I actually made an appt. I cried alot more over those 2 weeks leading up to my appt. I decided, really? who can't loose weight by watching what you eat, drinking water and exercise? Was I taking the 'easy way out?' Well for starters, I can't loose weight by watching what I eat, drinking water and exercise. I've tried, over and over and over again. In fact I've tried every weight loss solution under the sun. Pills, shakes, counting calories, weighing food, personal trainers, walking, weights, water aerobics, Jesus, EVERYTHING and here I am still, Morbidly Obese. I HATE saying that and typing it, isn't any better.
So within the 2 weeks between seminar and appt, I hit the net again. Which type of surgery was I going to have? I quickly decided that Gastric Sleeve surgery was the way I wanted to go. I have way more weight to loose than a Lap Band can give me and quite frankly I wanted a permanent solution, not one that I could 'adjust' when I had a party to go to. Seriously?? People do that. I wasn't going to be one of those people. DH came with me to my appt with Geoffrey and thank god he did. I was so scared, scared that I was going to make the wrong decision, scared that I was going to just cry and not hear everything Geoffrey had to say, scared that I was actually there and making such a brave and final decision. The decision was made that I would have Gastric Sleeve surgery and I could have it as soon as I could after the 1st of November due to the 12 month waiting period for our insurance.
I'm having Gastric Sleeve surgery.
I'm having Gastric Sleeve surgery.
I'm having Gastric Sleeve surgery.
I'm having Gastric Sleeve surgery.
WOAH!. We left Geoffrey's office in silence, obviously both of us thinking overtime. When we finally spoke it was like I'd already won the lottery. Can you guess what I did, yup, I cried, bloody sook! But everything felt so right. DH reminded me at that point I could stop the feeling of was I taking 'the easy way out'. Clearly having 3/4 of my stomach removed was NOT the easy way out! It took a long time for me to tell anyone what I was intending to do. Even my parents. I so thought they were going to talk me out of it, but when I finally picked up the phone, 6 weeks later mind and spoke to my Mum, she cried. (There seems to be a crying gene in our family) She confessed she had always been worried about me and my weight and that when she heard of these surgeries, she had thought that I should have it, but she never said anything to me. Of course both Mum and Dad are 100% behind me, why wouldn't they? I Skyped my brother and SIL and told them and for the first time in many years they were silent, for a split second and of course they too are gunning for me. Slowly over the past couple of months I've told a few people but no such announcement as such. Apart from now. I feel like I'm ready now, in the words of my 2 yr old DD, with arms out stretched, 'Ta Daaaaa!'
Since that first appt with Geoffrey I've had blood tests taken, an ECG, completed a sleep study, had dietitian appts, an appt with a Physcologist, I'm 3 weeks into a pre-op diet and final follow up appts with Geoffrey. I've been going pretty good so far and lost 6.8kgs. I did hit a pretty big emotional brick wall tho last week where the bloody tears took over again. I started to have thoughts of, 'I've always been the fat kid and all my life I've used humour as my shield. I figured if I was the funny chick, then I wouldn't be branded the fat chick, that people would love my funny first and not hate my fat. So with surgery, I'd be taking the fat away, what if the funny went with it? I don't want 'me' to change, I like me, I like my funny. Ahh man, the things I'm going to have to deal with. I'm stoked I kept my shrink appts till after surgery, I'm tipping I'm going to need them.
I hope I can keep this blog going, for my own sanity anyway. If you decide to follow, I'm not one to sugar coat things and if you don't like swearing then probably best to stop reading. No wait, I've said fuck already, ah well. The big news is my surgery is booked for Tuesday the 8th of November, 8 sleeps from this very minute. Fuckin arse! 8 sleeps!!!
Here's to 'MrsK and her amazing shrinking bum'. Glad you could join me
Squeezes :-)
